Interview: Marriage will be a free choice if the privileges associated with it are taken away

On February 14, 2023, a few weeks before the Supreme Court began hearing a batch of pleas to legalise same-sex marriage in India, four petitioners filed slightly different a plea. Pointing out that the family can be a source of violence for queer individuals, the petition asked the Court to recognise the right of queer individuals to have a “chosen family”.

It said that the legal recognition of a family only through ties of marriage, birth or adoption excludes bonds that transcend these categories. Natal family violence is not acknowledged or spoken about much or at all, said Rituparna Borah, one of the four petitioners, in an interview. “Still, it is a reality for many females assigned at birth persons – queer or non-queer.”

Since childhood, we face severe discrimination because of the gender we are assigned at birth, said Borah, who is the co-director of Nazariya, a queer feminist resource group based in Delhi.

The idea of a chosen family resonates deeply with Borah and informs her activism and organising as well. “I belong to an indigenous community where community living, chosen families, care, love, food etc are an intrinsic part of being,” said Borah.

For Borah, community and care are more powerful than marriage equality rights.

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