For better or for worse? Shifts in gender norms in India – in 12 charts

The setting is sometime in the early 1990s in rural Punjab. Manu Randhawa (played by Tapasee Pannu in the Hindi blockbuster Dunki) is watching an English movie on video, showing a white couple standing next to the Thames in London, with Big Ben in the background.

He goes down on his knees and proposes to her, and of course, she accepts. Manu sighs wistfully, turns to Hardy (played by Shah Rukh Khan), and says “this is the way I want to be asked for my hand in marriage!”

Manu is completely smitten by the dreamy setting, but mostly she can’t stop marveling at how wonderfully and refreshingly different this way of formalising a marriage is compared to the traditional Indian arranged marriages.

In her mind, it is a black-and-white contrast between the presumed heaven of idealised “love” marriages versus the grim reality of hidebound, conventional “arranged” marriages that she inhabits.

In her imagination, love marriages appear to be the pathway to gender equality. Nobody other than the two potential spouses is involved in the decision. The woman is presumed to be adult and independent enough to decide for herself if she would like to accept this man in marriage.

The bride-to-be has agency, autonomy and freedom of choice. She has the...

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