In a new book, a life coach shows how to fall in love with yourself before looking for a ‘soulmate’

I remember going to the fancy Riverside Mall in New Jersey as a teenager and noticing women glamorously dressed. They were wearing perfect hairstyles and make-up and walking with a seductive gaze. Amused and curious, I asked the cashier, “Why are all these women so dolled up?” She winked and replied, “You never know where and when you will meet ‘the one’.” As I became more aware of this notion of “finding a soulmate”, I noticed this fantasy lived in many minds and hearts.

Many of us were conditioned in our childhood through movies, fairy tales and romance novels to believe that “a soulmate” existed out there, who could ‘sweep us off our feet’ and give us our happily ever after.

Through this idea, we learnt to believe that an external person could provide us with everything we didn’t have and make us happy.

Unable to find a connection with ourselves we learnt to chase externally for “the one”, who we thought was a higher version of ourselves. We anticipated them to fill our holes, heal our wounds and make us happy and peaceful. Unaware that we have what we seek as the source of love and abundance, we floundered, moving from relationship to...

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