‘I wished to live like a woman’: A Sri Lankan Tamil activist’s memoir about transitioning

I wished to live like a woman. It was destined by nature. My body did not cooperate with my heart as it was subject to nature’s law. I became anxious when I started to grow facial hair. I was disgusted as though my face had been infected. I shaved my face and then all my body hair and wore makeup to conceal my emerging beard. I applied clear coat nail polish on my nails and used women’s perfumes. I would never step out without doing all this. This is how I went to school. I was particular about my feminine appearance precisely because I hated being teased and ridiculed for being effeminate.

Babu offered me a part-time job at his provision store. I would work at Babu’s shop after school and return home at 8 pm I had to work on weekends too. My salary was 500 euros a month, but I would give half of it to my mother. It somewhat relieved my family’s financial crisis.

For someone feminine like me, it was a challenge to work in that store. The store was frequented by drunks and vagabonds because it sold cigarettes and alcohol. Some of the men who noticed my effeminacy...

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