Being kind to yourself isn’t an indulgence but a skill that protects your health and mind

“Be kind to yourself” is a piece of advice that’s often given to people during difficult times or moments of stress. But for someone who is driven, a perfectionist or facing pressure, the idea of self-compassion can feel uncomfortable. To them, kindness might feel like letting themselves off the hook.

But research actually shows that consistently feeling shame and self-judgment can activate the body’s stress response just as strongly as physical danger. This increases cortisol and inflammation, both of which are linked to long-term health problems.

On the contrary, research suggests that being kind to yourself – known in psychology as “self-compassion” – can actually support motivation, accountability and resilience without the cost of burnout.

Self-compassion can be defined as the ability to view yourself with kindness and a mindful or balanced perspective on what’s happening to you – as opposed to viewing yourself with judgment, focusing on your mistakes or feeling like you’re alone in your experience.

The key components of self-compassion include mindful awareness (noticing your pain or struggle without denial or exaggeration), self-kindness (offering support rather than criticism) and shared humanity (remembering that everyone struggles sometimes and that imperfection is part of being human).

Self-compassion doesn’t mean letting yourself off the hook. It means staying connected to...

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