‘Bade Miyan Chote Miyan’ review: No time to think – and that’s the best thing about it

Apart from its title and an unlikely pairing of actors, Bade Miyan Chote Miyan bears no resemblance to the 1988 production of the same name. But that’s the least of its problems.

Ali Abbas Zafar’s movie is an early contender for the “Duds of the Year” prize. The new Bade Miyan Chote Miyan has two mismatched male leads, a pantomime villain and a plot whose very summary hastens the deadening of brain cells.

An inventor wants to wreak havoc on India after the rejection of his proposal to supply robots for military missions. The vengeful Kabir (Prithviraj Sukumaran) kidnaps Priya (Sonakshi Sinha), in whose brain is stored the top-secret codes of a shield that protects India from outside attack.

Kabir is up against Freddy (Akshay Kumar) and Rocky (Tiger Shroff), the greatest fighting machines to have ever worn an Indian Army uniform. Freddy and Rocky are aided by intelligence operative Nisha (Manushi Chillar) and ace hacker Pammi (Alaya F).

Although the Save India mission supposedly lasts three days, time moves at a crawl in this film’s universe. A fair warning is given during a previous operation to rescue a diplomat and his family from terrorists in Afghanistan. Having secured the hostages, Freddy and Rocky take their own sweet time getting out of...

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