‘I am not scared / I am not alone’: A young girl and a temple elephant become friends

New Grief

When Amma died,
I became numb.
Now,
this new grief awakens me,
jerks me alive
like I have seen doctors do on TV
with two iron box–like things
shocking their patient’s hearts into beating again.

Is it wrong to say
I have never felt so much grief before?
Even more than what I felt for Amma?

Guilt gnaws at my heart,
but it’s true.
Maybe because Ganeshan has no one
to love him and care for him
the way Amma had.
Only a silly old man
claiming to be his carer.

Worried

My mind is like a sieve,
everything passes through it.
All it can hold
are the chunky, heavy thoughts
about Ganeshan.
Is he okay?
Was a doctor called in?
Is Chandu taking good care of him?

Last Day of School

The last few weeks drift by
in a blurry waste of time.
And the final exams are but a disaster.
I have a new worry to add to my list now.
My school report!

The class teacher hands out everyone’s reports.
I chew on a nail.
What if I don’t make it to next year?
I quickly scan the report
for any huge red letters across it
and let out a huge sigh.
I passed!

Trrriiiinnnggg …
There’s a shout of Yaaaayyy!
even before the bell stops ringing.
And I am caught in a sea of Happy holidays!,
See you in eighth grade!
and Have a fab summer break!

I navigate through it all
and rush out
to the waiting school bus
so that I can be with my thoughts
alone
again.

Summer Holidays

Glorious
l o n g
days of nothingness.
Before.

Now
they are just
l o n g
days of nothingness.

Celebrations and Mourning

It’s April and Vishu,
the new year today.
I wear my yellow skirt again.
It hangs above my ankles now.
But I don’t want to
let go of it
yet.

At the temple ground,
the konna tree stands as bare as a Kerala bride
without her jewels.
The yellow flowers picked,
no doubt...

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